Wise Words
“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing,” Proverbs 12:18.
I recently had a conversation with someone whose words were full of wisdom, healing, kindness, and life. We were discussing a difficult situation that she needed to deal with, one that could not only harm her relationship with that person but also harm her relationships with many if she wasn’t wise about how she was dealing with the situation. It was obvious to me that she had prayed, researched her options, and counted the cost, even before we spoke. And as she asked for my counsel, she measured her words carefully so she didn’t divulge unneeded details or expose who the person was. During our conversation, she was wise.
What do wise words look like in a world of foolishness, recklessness, and one-upmanship? In a world where gossip and moral relativism run rampant? In today’s world, it’s not easy to discern and it’s almost counter-cultural to speak with godly wisdom. Yet it is possible.
Wise words are those that, even when you have to deal with tough things, whether in speaking or writing, they bring biblical wisdom to the situation, even when we don’t quote scripture and verse. They are not “reckless” and they don’t “piece like swords” as the scripture so aptly says. And when we write wise words, they come off the page and go straight into the reader’s heart.
In the novel I’m working on, one of my characters has a decisively unwise tongue. She loves to gossip and prattle and tell tales. And she often gets into trouble because of her reckless mouth. She shows the readers what this Scripture is talking about, the folly of it, the hurt it can bring, the harm it can do. But can she truly change? That’s the question at hand for her and for us.
We all want our words to be wise, healing, and helpful. We want to bless others by the things that we say or write. But in a world full of way too many words, taming our tongue (or our pen) is something in which we all need the Father’s help and guidance. Only then can we truly have “wise words.”
How do you chose to only speak (or write) wise words?
Working Words
“May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us—yes, establish the work of our hands,” Psalm 90:17.
Can God’s favor really rest on us as we work? Now that’s a big thought, isn’t it? Yes, it can!
Every morning before I start my day, I ask God to help me write or speak or help others write or to do whatever my day holds. This is what we should do, but do we do it? I admit that sometimes I forget, but I never want to take it for granted or think that my skills and abilities are enough. I need Him to establish the work of my hands. I need His favor.
But what does that look like? For me, it’s the knowledge that I’m on the right track with what He wants me to say, do, or write. It’s feeling His favor as I write a scene that comes to life on the page or develop a character that seems so real that I become “friends” with him or her. It’s finding that perfect word that describes something or solving a long-standing glitch in a storyline. It is knowing that the Facebook posts or Tweets or the words I speak over lunch with a friend are timely and will be a blessing. It’s even finding a craft book or blog that helps me learn something new. The truth is, I simply can’t do all this on my own; I need His favor.
I love working with words, but I love working with God who gives me those words even more. For me, it’s like co-authoring or collaborating with the Perfect Author, and it’s what gets me up every morning to plod away at my computer for hours on end. And at the end of the day, it’s a blessing to know I’ve spent my time in the favor of God and that He has established the work of my hands.
And you? Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, a business owner, a waitress, an executive, or a check-out clerk, He desires to establish the work of your hands so that you feel the joy of His favor. There’s nothing like it!
How do you feel His favor as you work? I’d love to know!
He’s Got a Plan
I’m so glad God has a plan for each of our lives. His purpose, His will, and His plan for my life have taken lots of twists and turns over the years. Ultimately, it’s always been good (although it didn’t always feel so good) whether it’s been in my family life, my work life, my church life, or my personal life.
Although my family was tainted by heartache, God’s plan for family life has a special purpose and framework. You get married, have children, raise them to love God and be productive people, and then watch them start their own families. What a beautiful plan God created for the family unit, and I’m blessed to experience it now.
In my work life, I’ve gone from being a preschool teacher to a grade-school teacher to a missions curriculum writer to an editor and editorial director to an author and now a full-time freelance writer/editor/writing coach. Whew! It can make my head spin just to think about it all, but I’ve loved every season the Lord gave me in these unique and wonderful opportunities. Now, as I work on my novel, I continue to trust in His plan for my writing life.
In my church life, though I’ve been a part of several churches over the years, in every one I’ve been blessed and made a point to serve wherever I could as well as be a part of a small group when I could. Each time I’ve had rich, and sometimes stretching, experiences that have helped me to grow and mature in Christ.
And personally? Oh what a treasure each of my friends and family have been—from childhood until now! Some have been lifetime friends; other have passed through my life like a fragrant breeze. Some have shaken me to my core and caused me to kneel at His feet in tears, while others have taught me the meaning of humility, contrition, and redemption.
Through all the journey of discovering His will and purpose for my life in each season of it, I have found that He, alone, is the One who can work it all out for my very best, and He will for you, too. May your discovery be as amazing as mine has been, and may you find Him faithful in every season of it.
“In Him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will,” Ephesians 1:11.
How have you seen God lead and guide you into His plan and purpose?
The Valentine’s Gift That Keeps On Giving
“Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails,” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.
Countdown for Couples: Preparing for the Adventure of Marriage, and The ReMarriage Adventure: Preparing for a Lifetime of Love & Happiness, my first two published books, help prepare couple for marriage or remarriage. In essence, they help engaged couples learn how to love better, and we married couples need to remember those same principles as well.
So on this Valentine’s Day, I want to remind you of the importance of keeping your marriage strong. It’s the best gift you can give your spouse.
Remember what a great adventure your marriage has been and can be, and be careful not to get apathetic about your relationship. As with any journey, there are slow, boring, mundane seasons, but the times of making memories, capturing intimate experiences, and finding quality moments supersedes all the rest. Choose not to get discouraged or weary in well doing, in working at your marriage, in resolving conflict, or in struggling to make ends meet.
Build memories that transcend everyday life. It’s a daily choice…to love unconditionally, to sacrifice substantially, and to enjoy each other eternally.
When your marriage is threatened by you, your spouse, or others; when your thoughts, actions, or attitudes draw your heart away from your relationship; when temptations, lies of the media, or the deceitfulness of your own heart tell you it’s just too hard; when the lust of the flesh, your own sin nature, or work, things or mere exhaustion turn you away from your journey together, fight for your marriage. At such a time, it is critical to regroup, get counseling, and return to the great adventure you’ve set out to accomplish. Let Him lead and guide your marriage and family life, and let Him inspire you, give you new dreams and establish fresh goals.
Marriage is so much about walking out your faith on a daily basis. On this great adventure called marriage, as you join Him in the plans He has for you, you can become more like Christ and learn how to reflect Him with your words and actions. You can show the world how God can take two imperfect people and redeem their lives for His glory. And your marriage in Christ can reflect that intimate and holy relationship of the Trinity! What a great Valentine’s gift that would be.
How do you keep your marriage strong?
Guard Your Heart
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life,” Proverb 4:23.
It’s a tough world out there, full of nasty thoughts, words, and images. It’s a world that’s becoming more and more counter to all the Bible speaks of that’s good and right and pure. But in such a world, how can we guard our hearts?
For me, I have chosen to be careful what I see, hear, and read. While others can casually watch a rated “R” movie and not be affected, it’s just not so with me. Images cling to my brain and replay in my sleep. Whether it’s scary, violent, or sexually explicit, I can’t get them out of my mind. So, to guard my heart and mind, I don’t let them in.
The same goes for music and literature. I’ve learned that if it’s not good and right and pure, I leave it for others to engage with. Please know that I’m not shaking my finger at anyone who chooses otherwise; I’m just saying that, for me, I have chosen to be careful to guard my heart with my media consumption.
But that’s not the only area of life where I guard my heart. It’s also in my attitudes and actions, and how I choose to accept or respond to the attitudes and actions of others. It’s also important for me to guard my heart in my writing life—to surround myself with encouragers, to balance my writing, to pour out life.
One person can poison my well with negative or critical attitudes if I let them. Another can hurt me by their words or actions. And I can do the same to them, if I’m not careful. Though I can’t be responsible for how others treat me or how they respond to a certain situation, I can make a choice to guard my heart. I hope you will too.
How do you guard your heart?
Making Plans
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed,” Proverbs 16:3.
It’s still January, still the beginning of the year, and I’m still making my 2015 plans. Yes, I’m getting a slow start, but it’s never too late, right?
While planning, goal-setting, and making bucket lists are well and good, I’ve learned that none of that matters unless those plans, goals, and lists are firmly committed to God’s will and way. My plans need to be His plans. But what does that look like?
For me, that takes time, prayer, and searching my heart to make sure my plans—and the motives that surround them—are biblically based and Spirit led. It could be anything from a vacation to building a friendship to writing my next book; I simply need to check first with the One who knows what’s best for me.
Of course I have to plan my course—plan my days, weeks, months, and year—but I want the Lord to determine my steps (Proverb 16:9). Otherwise, I know I’ll be spinning my wheels, wasting my time, and could even get myself into a whole heap of trouble!
So as I’ve been looking at my weekly blogs and where I should go with them, I going back to square one, and I hope you’ll be blessed. This year, I’m going to focus on what God says in the tattered pages of His Word (see my January 7, 2015 post), especially as they relate to living out our stories of life, love, and leaving a legacy that matters.
Whether it’s about marriage, parenting, grandparenting, or writing, traveling, or some other aspect of life, we’ll ponder the foundation of what God’s word says about life. After all, that’s all that really matters, right?
What would you like to hear about this year concerning life, love, and legacy?