Placing the Facebook Face
Because I work from home, I often feel a bit isolated, as many writers do. Each morning and evening (and sometimes at lunch), I check my Facebook and find “friends” out there doing the same thing I do—working alone, with only my computer and the characters in my story.
Many Facebook friends I know face-to-face and they are “real”. Some I feel like I know them from reading their books, blogs, or posts. And some of them I’d just like to know personally one day.
So when I attended the Writers on the Rock conference recently, I was surprised to see so many familiar faces. There were dozens and dozens of them. My mind raced. I tried to pull information from the far recesses of my mind. I panicked more than once.
How do I know them? From Focus? From the local ACFW chapter in Colorado Springs? From other writers conferences? From a book? Where? Finally I went into default. It had to be Facebook!
“We’re Facebook friends!”
Woman after woman smiled and said, “Yes! I know you!” She, too, was obviously as relieved as I was to place the face.
After a simple friendly chat, or sometimes over a meal, we Facebook friends made the transition to real, live friends. I knew that a few of them would become lifetime friends. But most of them would continue to be long-distance writer friends who, although Facebook would remain the primary means of communication, had also become “real”. I now know not only their faces and posts but also their voice, their mannerisms, their laugh. They were real people to whom I could relate.
And that is precious. Precious to connect on a deeper level. Precious to know the “real” person, even on a limited level.
So to all my Facebook friends who are “real”—thank you for sharing a bit of your life. And to you who I “know” through your writing, through the stories you tell or the transparency you show in your blogs or posts—thank you for sharing a bit of you, too. You all make my life richer, wiser, and a little less lonely. And for that I am grateful.
How has finding “real” Facebook friends impacted your life? I’d love to know!
What’s in a Family Tree?
I love researching my family tree, and in the midst of doing so, I came across some interesting research. Much of that has become a part of my first novel, The Fabric of Hope, which will release in just a few weeks!
But knowing about your family heritage isn’t just for writing a novel; it’s about knowing who you are.
Studies show that the more individuals know about their family history, the better they are able to handle the challenges that life brings. And research proves that people who know about their family heritage have better self-esteem and feel more in control of their lives, even if their heritage isn’t spotless.
When my children were young, my mother came to visit and, through a series of events, we decided to tape her stories. We’d ask simple questions like, “Tell us about your pets.” “Tell us about difficult illnesses you got through.” “Tell us about your school days.” “Tell us about holiday traditions you had.”
“Tell us about your favorite toy.”
“It was a pig’s bladder,” she replied.
On and on we went for two weeks, and it was fascinating. We learned so much about her, our family, and what it was like “back then.” We still have those tapes, and they are a treasure to each of us.
Why is this so important? When we know about we family history, we are simply more resilient and see life in the larger context of history. We belong to something bigger than today’s individual challenges and can look beyond the tough things we’re facing today. We can see and hear and know that others have faced some pretty hard things but have overcome. So we can too.
Family history gives kids an anchor, a foundation from which they exist and live and can thrive. And they can find hope and healing in their family stories.
One caution: If the family history is riddled by abuse and/or disfunction, stick to the positive things like traditions, funny stories, and things that will build them up and not tear them down. After all, they are a part of that family, even if there has been a death or divorce.
So tell family stories often. Interview and record your parents, grandparents, or great grandparents telling stories while they are still here. You will help your kids become resilient, well-rounded children who know that they are an important part of the human story.
How do you pass on your family heritage? I’d love to know.
What an Adventure!
I recently returned from visiting my family in South Africa. It was an amazing trip, full of love and laughter, new baby cuddles and little girl giggles. Seeing my daughter mother her four girls and watching my wonderful son-in-law be the daddy that I always dreamed of for my grandchildren was just plain thrilling.
For five weeks we enjoyed holiday fun, tea parties, story time, and lots of playtime. We got to go on lots of adventures and enjoy special times together. But before I knew it, I was returning to the States—and missing my granddaughters tremendously.
Yet I count my blessings; I’ll name them one by one.
I get to Skype with them and WhatApp text and sometimes even call. I send them Valentine’s and we enjoy lots of fun over the internet.
In today’s world of families spread all over the globe, it’s a blessing that we can get there in just a day and a half instead of the several week voyage by ship or not seeing them at all.
My daughter has blessed me with not one but four beautiful granddaughters, all born in South Africa. I’m so glad I get to see them through Skype.
And I get to come home to a beautiful home, a wonderful part of the world, great friends, and an amazing life with a loving husband and all the blessings of being his wife and companion.
Life is good. I am blessed, and I find joy in all that God has done!
How about you? What blessings has the Lord given you lately? I’d love to know.
Dating Through the Years
As the years go by and your marriage deepens and matures, be careful not to get apathetic about your relationship. Remember what a great adventure your marriage has been—and still can be.
While it’s easy to take each other for granted, it’s important to reengage as soon as you realize that your relationship is beginning to slip. And now, so early in 2013, it’s a good time to take a look at your relationship and do what you need to do to strengthen it. All it might take is a date, or a look at your photo albums, or a walk in the park, or a few extra deposits in your mate’s love bank.
That might mean getting her flowers, as Dale so often does, or making a favorite dessert, as I often do. It’s surprising how little it takes for the return on investment. Never, ever stop investing in your relationship.
How would you rate yourselves, as a couple, on how well you show patience to one another? In talking over tough issues? In discussing the kids? In making plans together? Discuss these ideas and pray together, asking God to help you grow.
Now, decide from the list below, which communication-building traditions you might like to establish in your marriage this year.
• Morning and evening chats: start and end your day with a few minutes of uninterrupted time together.
• Home-from-work transition time: when one or both get home from work, take a few minutes to reconnect. Never be “too busy.”
• Kiss-n-hug: don’t go a day without a heartfelt kiss and hug. It may sound silly, but it can be a tradition you’ll be grateful you established.
• Mealtimes: pray over the meal, holding hands. We started the tradition of giving each other a quick kiss after we pray; kids might think it’s sappy, but showing affection is a good model for them.
• Dates: never lose the romance. Go on dates regularly, and guys, if she says she needs a date, listen to her!
• Prayer time: establish daily prayer time together.
• Decision time: when decisions need to be made or concerns need to be aired, set aside a specific time to do so.
Build traditions that transcend everyday life and strengthen your marriage. It’s a daily choice…to love unconditionally, to sacrifice substantially, and to enjoy each other as long as you both shall live.
Adapted from The ReMarriage Adventure: Preparing for a Lifetime of Love & Happiness and Countdown for Couples: Preparing for the Adventure of Marriage. Copyright © 2012, all rights reserved.
Treasure Hunting
When I was teaching, there were two subjects that I loved the most—English and history. Now that I’m writing historical fiction, I get to apply both of these subjects to my work everyday. Researching history for my historical novels is like going on a really fun treasure hunt into another time.
Not only do I get to spend time at the library, scour the internet, and search for lost treasures of information, I also get to jump into the time period and imagine what it must have been like to live in that day and time. I have to examine the various aspects of life, think how they thought, and feel how they felt. And my respect for those who lived in the past grows every day.
And then I have to take all that information and figure out how my characters would interact according to the historical details I have learned. What did it feel like to not have heat in the wintertime? What did it smell like before the days of trash removal? How did they read at night when they didn’t have electricity? And what did it feel like to be on an immigrant ship for over a month?
The craft of writing historical fiction is a challenging and fun one, and I get more and more engaged in the desire to understand the larger context of my character’s world. It’s a thrilling journey for me. What was the bigger picture of that day—the social, cultural, political, and spiritual world they lived in? Knowing all this helps me understand my characters on a deeper level.
I’ve come to love my treasure hunting—searching for nuggets of information that help me write a great book. I take walks and wagon rides and drives thanks to Google Maps. I see the cities and mountains and ships and people of the 1850s in books and on the internet. I experience Celtic music concerts and see step dancing on YouTube. They inspire and inform me, and I’m grateful all the wonderful technology and resources at my fingertips, which can enlarge my vision for whatever I’m writing.
So I encourage you to go on a treasure hunt of your own. What historical tidbit would you like to know about? Give it a Google search and see what you find on your hunt. I’d love to know what you find.
This Child
We just enjoyed a month-long holiday, at least I did. We’ve pondered the Babe in the manger and God’s Word becoming flesh and living with us. We’ve thought about Him growing up and becoming the Savior of the world.
But where did we find all those truths, and what do we do with it all? In the tattered pages of God’s Word. It’s really true, all of it, and those sacred words about the Christmas story and all of redemption’s story still rings true just as much today as it did 2,000 years ago.
Even though I now read the Bible mostly on my iPhone and iPad, the words are living and breathing, and they change me day-by-day. So at the start of this year, I am looking to God’s truth to transform me, strengthen me, and make me all He wants me to be.
As you read the words of this powerful song, I pray they will close out the holiday season and start 2017 with truth that will last.
Tattered Pages
by Shannon J. Wexelberg
The Word became flesh
God came from heaven
Mercy and grace
Walking with us
The promise of God
Sacred words written
Here in this Babe
Messiah had come
He spoke the worlds into space
And His words are living today
(In) these tattered pages
They’re calling me home
Living and breathing
Ancient words pleading
“Come to the Savior You’re not alone”
Love’s greatest story
Heaven came for me
And this gift of mercy
Changed who I am
Hope of the Ages
In these tattered pages
Close to my heart
Each word a treasure
Like honey so sweet
I cannot deny
Love found me here
Though my heart was severed
So wide and so deep
Love brought me to life
This child – who is King and a Friend
Is Living Word speaking again
Ancient and true
They are old, they are new
They can find you, find you
There is no hole
So dark that His words can’t revive you
Making all things new