The characters in my novel faced lots of changes in their marriage, and I’m guessing you face lots of changes in your marriage as well. But as we embrace those changes together, seek to understand ourselves and our mate, and work with God and each other to walk through our adventures of change, we can be a blessing to each other and to those who are watching our lives.
But beware! When you’re in the midst of adjusting to all the changes that come in married life, it’s easy to hurt one another—to over react, accuse, get angry, deny, and more. You’ll read about how my characters experienced these things—once the book comes out.
But as we learn how our personalities work—our strengths and the weaknesses we have—we can learn to rely on the strengths, work on our weaknesses, and work together to walk through life as a team. And it’s so important to not let the hurts linger, fester, and infect your relationship. It’s a skill to be learned, but having those skills will help you care for each other better.
From being first-time parents to the preschool years and beyond, when children are involved, change is a given. As you discover how each of you are wired, including the personalities your children have, you’ll find yourself more equipped to make good transitions on a regular basis. My character had six kids. Yikes!
In the midst of change, a couple also has to make lots of decisions. To do that, they must communicate and resolve conflict well, but that’s not always easy in the heat of the moment. People have very different ways of coming to a decision, disciplining the children, or resolving conflict. So it’s helpful to understand how you’re wired before you’re in the mist of an unexpected situation.
All the little changes that come with daily life in a family can simply exacerbate the weaknesses we have in dealing with change. Not only do we need to understand how each of us is wired and work to overcome our own weaknesses, but we also need to learn how to compensate for each other’s weaknesses. When we do this, we’ll have an easier pathway to family peace and compatibility.
What have been the greatest changes in your marriage and how have you worked as a team? I’d love to know.
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