Prepare for Your Marriage

Many couples get engaged on Valentine’s Day and find them busy with preparing for their wedding. But less than 30 percent of couples actually prepare for the rest of their lives together by reading premarital books, taking a premarital class, or attending counseling sessions. That’s tragic, so we hope and pray that this year that pathetic statistic will change. Here’s a real-life story that shows why this is important.

Jenny met Chris at a church function, and the two struck up a conversation. She was amazed at how much they had in common. They could talk endlessly, never tiring of each other. After just a few months of dating, both felt convinced that they belonged together. They had a whirlwind wedding, eagerly jumping headfirst into married life.

But within weeks Jenny discovered that Chris was an avid video gamer. She couldn’t believe how much time and money he was willing to invest in games. Chris soon realized that Jenny enjoyed entertaining. His introverted nature clashed with her desire to invite friends over every weekend.

It didn’t take long for annoying habits and different personalities and interests to drive the two apart. More than once Jenny asked herself what she’d seen in Chris at the beginning. And Chris wondered why he had once thought they had so much in common.

After years of counseling and mentoring couples of all ages and backgrounds, we’ve identified a number of red flags that should alert you to possible trouble spots in a relationship. That’s why premarital counseling is so important.

If danger signs show up in your relationship, be sure to slow down and reevaluate your relationship, taking the time to see if there is a possible resolution before you move ahead. You might talk with a pastor, counselor, or trusted mentor regarding your concerns. You might want to read a premarital book such as Countdown for Couples: Preparing for the Adventure of Marriage.

And if you know a couple who has red flags blazing bright, encourage them to get some premarital counseling, check out our book(s), and plead with them do the work ahead of time—before they end up like Jenny and Chris!

What was the most surprising thing you learned in your premarital preparation? I’d love to know!

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