“People think everybody has premarital doubts and you don’t have to worry about them,” Justin Lavner, a UCLA doctoral student in psychology who led the study, said in a statement. “We found they are common, but not benign. Newlywed wives who had doubts about getting married before their wedding were 2½ times more likely to divorce four years later than wives without these doubts. Among couples still married after four years, husbands and wives with doubts were significantly less satisfied with their marriage than those without doubts.”
The study consisted of 232 newlywed couples who were interviewed every six months for four years. Lavner and team found that of the 38 percent of women who said they were uncertain or hesitant about getting married, 19 percent divorced within four years!
While jitters and doubts don’t forecast a relational death, it’s critical to not ignore concerns. “Do you think the doubts will go away when you have a mortgage and two kids? Don’t count on that,” Thomas Bradbury, who co-directs the Relationship Institute at UCLA, said in a statement.
Dale and I agree. It’s so important to learn all you can about each other. Make sure your friends and family meet (and assess) your potential mate, and prepare for the adventure of marriage. That’s exactly why we wrote our two books—to help alleviate—or confirm—your concerns, doubts, or jitters so you make the right decision for a lifetime.
Don’t ignore your doubts! In this world of complicated relationships, you’ve got to do your homework!
Did you have wedding jitters? What did you do? I’d love to know.
For more on preparing to marry—for you or someone you love—check out The ReMarriage Adventure: Preparing for a Lifetime of Love & Happiness and Countdown for Couples: Preparing for the Adventure of Marriage by Susan and Dale Mathis.Follow me on social media!