Our Primary Purpose

Yesterday Dale and I celebrated our anniversary with a drive into the mountains and a nice meal. We reminisced about the years we’ve spent together, and we recognized that we are extra grateful for God’s hand in our lives. We laughed and shared the precious memories of our wedding, our honeymoon, and the days and years beyond. And we sat in silent awe that God would choose to use us to write not one but two books on marriage and send them—and by extension us—to the end of the earth.

As a remarried couple, we are fully aware and are eternally grateful for the redemptive work He’s doing in and through us. Yet, I think, last week’s Waldo Canyon Wildfire reminded us how precious our life together and our love is. That terrible week made painfully aware, once again, that our lives are in His hands, and that we need to seize every moment to love each other well.

In the busyness of life, it’s all too easy to take each other for granted, to assume the other knows how much we care, to forget to stop and cherish our spouse in tangible ways. But when we fear displacement or separation or loss, priorities fall in line. We see that so much of that busyness is an enemy to our marriage, an interloper that snatches those special moments from us and distract us from our primary purpose as a couple—to love well.

To love with words. To love with actions. To say and do little things which matter so much more than the house or activities or working—or whatever takes up our time and energy. Loving well is stopping to laugh at a funny story or pausing to kiss or say a few words of encouragement. It’s a gentle touch in a moment of frustration or putting down a book to help with a project. There are a zillion ways to purposefully and meaningfully, but it takes awareness, discernment, and time.

So this year I give my husband the gift of time. I want to slay the interloper of busyness and intentionally show him I love him even more than I do today. I want to keep my primary purpose—to love my spouse well—as the top priority in my life…’til death do us part.

What about you? Has busyness gotten in the way of loving your spouse well? How have you attacked that busyness interloper? I’d like to know.

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